Bill Clinton Demands Kerry Step Down

(NEW YORK) -- In a fiery speech in Harlem’s famed John the Baptist church, Clinton demanded Kerry step down as the presumptive presidential nominee of the Democrat Party.

“We need honesty from our leaders,” he said, pounding his fist on the pulpit. “And Kerry hasn’t been honest.”

Flanked by his wife Hillary, and Al Sharpton, Clinton excoriated Kerry as a serial exaggerator who fudged on his war-time activities. “He won’t feel your pain like I feel your pain,” Clinton said, paraphrasing one of his more memorable lines. “Because he’s never felt pain.”

Members of the congregation met Clinton’s remarks with repeated “amens,” and “praise the Lords.”

Clinton’s wife, Hillary, now junior Senator from New York, is widely regarded as 2008’s presidential frontrunner on the Democrat side. Clinton, however, refused to suggest his wife as Kerry’s replacement, should he step down.